In hindsight, when I look back I could see the warning signs. The lies. Poor communication. The lack of concern and care. Raucous arguments. The control factor.
But what I did not see was how all this impacted my relationships with my family and friends.
A bad marriage not only negatively affects the two spouses involved, it can spread like a contagion, affecting our interactions
with loved ones in ways that we may not be fully cognizant of at the time.
While our loved ones are usually prepared to be a shoulder we can lean on in times of trouble and tumult, the fact of the matter is that even the most patient and understanding of family and friends will reach their limit.
Sometimes it becomes too painful to see someone they care about floundering in an unhappy marriage. Slowly, but surely, these people will drift away.
My marriage drained me of my innate joy, I did not realize it at the time but others did. I unconsciously separated myself from others. A frequent occurence was whenever I was asked to go out with my sisters, my ex and I would get into a fight, because that was his way of getting me to stay at home. I eventually drifted away from others and boxed myself in.
It is important to remember that a happy, healthy marriage is one that should expand your world, increase your social circle, deepen your relationships with others and make you and your spouse a magnet for other happy people.
For those of us who see the warning signs, who live the pain, who are simply unhappy I urge you to love yourself because you deserve better.
Remember with God's strength ALL IS POSSIBLE!!!
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